Kindred Spirits: Alex & Deborah’s Match Story

Before Big Sisters: Facing challenges and seeking support

Alex was facing a number of unique challenges in his teenage life before being matched with a Big Sister. As a neurodivergent, non-binary student managing epilepsy, he experienced difficulties at school and was subject to bullying and a lack of acceptance.

Having tried alternative arrangements, including moving Alex to an independent school in Grade 9, Alex’s family eventually made the decision to take him out of the traditional school system. Both Alex and his family were determined to find him a learning environment and support system that worked for him.

At that time Alex had been on the waiting list for Big Sisters for a while and he was worried that being non-binary might affect his eligibility, so he was over the moon when he found out that he had been matched with Deborah.

Alex shared “I jumped up and down when I found out, I was so happy”.

Connecting with a Kindred Spirit

Alex was matched with Deborah in Big Sisters 1:1 mentorship program and they knew right away that they were the right fit. Deborah had recently moved to BC from Ontario, where she had always been an active volunteer. Wanting to stay connected with young people, she joined Big Sisters to experience connection and to give back to the community.

“It was like finding a kindred spirit,” Deborah shared. “We always laugh about how we are not normal people because we both have a quirky sense of humour, so we clicked right away. We had so much fun during the icebreaker session with Big Sisters. We just talked about our favourite animals and things to do and just felt an instant connection”. As Deborah put it, “Alex is kind and gentle and I just knew it was the right fit form the start”.

A few months into their match Alex suffered an epileptic seizure and needed to visit the hospital. During that time Deborah remained a solid presence, making sure Alex and his family felt an extra level of support.

Finding confidence through support and encouragement

Now eight months into their match, the impact on Alex’s confidence and happiness has been remarkable. Once hesitant to speak in public, Alex now engages in conversations in bookstores, museums, and regularly orders his own food at restaurants. They do so much together, from How to Train a Dragon movie nights and car karaoke to failed attempts at baking lava cakes. Their connection has been a solid foundation from which Alex has started to grow and blossom.

With Deborah’s encouragement and support there has been a marked change in Alex’s confidence. Deborah proudly shared about a recent experience where Alex started a conversation at the Aquarium “I went home and cried after hearing Alex having a 5-minute conversation where he shared facts about bats with complete strangers. He is just so much more confident and comfortable in his own skin”.

For Deborah, the experience has been equally meaningful. “It’s the highlight of my week,” she said. “Alex has even helped me face my own fear of heights and I wouldn’t have seen parts of the city without our weekly meet up’s.” Alex has even connected with Deborah’s own kids and her dog Russell “We call Alex the Russell whisperer because they are so close”.

Together, Alex and Deborah have created a bucket list of adventures still to come: mini golf, Castle Fun Park, the Bunny Café, and, of course, another lava cake attempt.

Above all, the match has given Alex something he was missing before Big Sisters—a role model, a source of encouragement, and the confidence to believe in himself. As Deborah summed it up: “We’re family now.”

Become a Mentor this Big Brothers Big Sisters Month

This Big Brothers Big Sisters Month, you can be the spark that helps a young person discover their strength, find their voice, and know they are never alone.

Learn more about volunteering opportunities and how you can get involved here:
https://www.bigsisters.bc.ca/become-a-volunteer-mentor/

Support Big Sisters mentorship programs here.