2010-12-14
Thank You for 50 Years & 50 Stories
I was originally interested in working with this organization because I believed so strongly in its mission and in the power a positive relationship has on helping a young girl value herself. Having now had the privilege of working here for the past 11 years, I have had the pleasure of seeing that mission come to life, even more powerfully than I had ever imagined. I watch joyfully from the sidelines as our mentors truly transform the lives of our Little Sisters, and vice-versa. The life-changing friendships that are formed within the programs we offer make me proud to be a part of this amazing organization.

This has been a particularly proud year for Big Sisters of BC Lower Mainland, as we have celebrated our 50th Anniversary. It has been wonderful to have so many of you share your thoughts and experiences with us through this blog, including so many of our alumni participants. Your testimonials are a permanent record of what has been accomplished by this organization over the past 50 years, and give us perspective on what the work we are doing today achieves over the long term. Your stories reinforce for all of us that mentoring works, and that mentoring matters. Thank you for sharing your stories with us!

We could not have succeeded in reaching our 50th Anniversary without the incredible support of our community. My thanks to all of our amazing mentors, Little Sisters, parents, board members, donors, volunteers, and staff over the past 50 years for your incredible contribution to the strength of this organization. It is my great privilege to be in your company.

Written by Shannon Newman-Bennett, Executive Director

2010-12-07
Miracles Do Happen
My Little Sister is 18. Unbelievable. When we were matched, she was a silent nine year old. So much has happened since then. Marie’s mother died four months after we met. Her life since then has been shuttled between foster homes and her Dad’s home, full of a variety of relatives, siblings and houseguests. Her sister had a teenage pregnancy; that baby is now in foster care. Her brother is in jail.

Through it all, once every week or two, we have had a date. We have dinner, we see a movie, a play, I make cookies and she eats them… We have always laughed and we have always made plans for our next date.

Two years ago Marie* hugged me. I cannot tell you what that meant. Marie had such enormous emotional walls around her – but one day, after seven years, we were saying good bye and she gave me a hug. The enormity of that hug. Seven years was a long time to wait for that hug, but it was worth every minute. And that hug was just the beginning. She gets mad now. And she gets sad. And she can talk about what she is feeling. Sometimes what seems commonplace for one person is a miracle for another.

My Little Sister will graduate from high school. She will be the first person in her family to graduate from high school. And she is talking about post-secondary education. It has been a long hard journey for my Little Sister. But miracles do happen. I know. I’ve seen one.

Written by alumni Big Sister Susan*
*Note: names have been changed to protect confidentiality

2010-11-30
Merina & Crystal
Merina and I were matched as Study Buddies about a year and a half ago, and have had a lot of fun since. When we first met, she was hoping for some help with her times tables. It had been so long since I'd used math regularly, I barely remembered them myself! I thought I'd better prepare, and searched the web for the most effective ways to teach multiplication. What I didn't predict was that Merina completely understood the concepts - she was so smart – she just needed to memorize the equations and needed some help focusing. We played math card games for a few months, which didn't seem like tutoring at all but was amazingly effective. We made up our own games and our own rules (I never seemed to win).

After a long day at work, I look forward to seeing Merina and catching up on how she's doing at school. Seeing her makes me focus on the big picture – the things that are most important in life – and forget the small worries of my day.

I have learned at least as much from her as she has from me – she taught me about the colour wheel, I taught her how to spell antidisestablishmentarianism; I help her with math; she teaches me about cool music. Most recently, we've been working on English grammar and comprehension and she has taught me why it's important to never eat a hot chili pepper. We've taken our sessions out of the library as well – we went to UBC to learn about biodiversity, tried learning how to play tennis together (we still need a little practice), and have taken a first aid course. We have so much fun just hanging out - even more fun than I expected when I signed up as a volunteer.

Merina is doing better in school now, and I've learned how to put life in perspective. It's a joy to watch her learn, and I hear she likes my company too.

Written by Crystal, Study Buddy to Merina since March 2009; drawing by Little Sister Study Buddy Merina

2010-11-23
Because of Big Sisters
At our 2010 Big Sisters Gala, we celebrated our 50th anniversary with six special guests – six former Little Sisters were in attendance and shared one special thing that they have been able to accomplish in their lives because of their Big Sisters.

“Because of my Big Sister, Tracey, I realized how important a strong female figure is in a young person’s life, making me strive to be a better mom every day.” – Elissa, alumni Little Sister from 1999

"Because of my Big Sister I've grown up with the guidance of a mentor and the love of a best friend. She has helped me be the first in my family to achieve a college diploma and given me the motivation to continue on to achieve my degree!" – Heidi, alumni Little Sister from 2001

“Because of Big Sisters I have learned to appreciate the opportunity to affect the lives of the girls I work with. I strive each day to be a person they can look up to.” – Trish, alumni Little Sister from 1983

“Because of my Big Sister Janet I gained much needed stability in my life; stability that nurtured the trust and confidence that was necessary for me to grow and become the person I am today. I feel that Janet is one of the cornerstones of my foundation and without her I wouldn't be me." – Tia, alumni Little Sister from 1988

“Because of Big Sisters I met an amazing role model, and friend. She was the first person in my life who I felt was non judgmental and assisted me in making positive life choices.” – Carly, alumni Little Sister from 2001

"Because of my Big Sister I believe that I am of worth. My Big Sister Sue spent quality time with me and with that time I felt loved and important." – Josie, alumni Little Sister from 1985

2010-11-16
Life-Long Friends; Life-Long Sisters
It was in the fall of 1988 that my Little Sister Christina (Tia) and I were matched up. Our meeting was a last minute match up - Tia’s original Big Sister had an operation and could not make the scheduled appointment, so Big Sisters called and asked if I would be able to make the appointment. I replied, “Absolutely”.

During our first get together, I knew Tia and I would be a good match – we both liked colouring - and so we agreed to meet a week later. I rang the door bell and there was Tia all wide-eyed. “You came,” were the first words out of her mouth. I replied, “Of course I came, I said I would”. We jumped into my car to head out for dinner. I asked Tia, “Where would you like to go”? Tia replied, “Where would you like to go”? I said, “How about pizza? What pizza place do you want to go too”? Tia replied, “What place would you like to go?” I realized she either really did not want to make a decision or she did not want to disappoint me. I said “How about Boston Pizza or Pizza Hut”? Tia said, “Which one do you like?” I could see she was having a hard time making a choice so we decided we would go to Pizza Hut this time and Boston Pizza next time. Now, 22 years later, when we want to grab take out food, it is pizza and a Pepsi for us. It’s our thing.

Thanks to Big Sisters we went to a lot of their events the first year we were together. We also went to movies, painted Christmas scenes on my parents’ living room window, baked, made cards and enjoyed walks together. I taught Tia to wet the back of a wooden spoon to flatten rice crispy squares and she taught me how to call squirrels in Stanley Park by tapping two walnuts together. I supported Tia by going to see her modeling/acting school final show and I saw her became Honoured Queen with Job’s Daughters.

For a few years we did not see each other, however I kept leaving messages for her to let her know I was here for her (we did not have cell phones back then!). One day we finally connected and met at a pub. I could not believe my Little Sister was of age and we could have a drink together if we choose to do so. We caught up on our lives - I was married and she had a new boyfriend named Jordan.

In November 1999 I injured my left hand. Tia wrapped my Christmas presents for me, helped me cut down a tree and decorated it. In our adult years we shared a lot from my injury that became a permanent disability: my divorce, selling a house, and staring a job all in one year; my mom passing away; Tia moving to Vernon, becoming pregnant and now being a mom.

I never thought a 12 year old little girl would become a life-long friend. We meet by chance through Big Sisters but became sisters by choice. I am so proud to call Tia my Little Sister.

Written by Janet McFarlane, alumni Big Sister

2010-11-09
Being a Big Sister
I will never forget the day I met my Little Sister Ashley for the first time. I was SO excited and nervous. I could tell she was as well. I was 26. We connected instantly and I felt a bond that I will always feel with Ashley.

We began our journey with many fun adventures: movies, theatre, boating trips, hockey games or even just hanging out and people watching. Ashley was an incredible 13 year old when I met her. Mature far beyond her years, she always (and still does) amazed me with her grown up attitude and thoughts. She is absolutely one of the most beautiful souls that I have ever met. She is a free spirit who treats everyone with respect. She is open-minded and smart. I love her and I am so proud of the woman she has become. She is working towards goals that I have utmost faith she will attain.

Being a Big Sister is something that I am truly proud of. I enjoyed it immensely and am just so grateful to have been able to be a small part of Ashley’s teenager years and to carry on after Big Sisters as her friend. It was great to watch her grow and hear her stories and to be there through some of her ups and downs. One thing I never did with Ashley was judge her. I would never tell her what she did was wrong. If it was, she already knew. I wasn’t in her life to teach her right from wrong -- I was in her life as a mentor. Someone she could trust. Someone she could come to with any problems or issues in her life and I would listen with an open mind and never criticize. It was a beautiful foundation for a lifelong friendship that I will cherish always.

Written by Krista, alumni Big Sister (2001-2007)

2010-11-02
My Experience as a Go Girls! Healthy Bodies, Healthy Minds Mentor
I had always wanted to volunteer with Big Sisters and I finally got the opportunity when I heard about the Go Girls! Healthy Bodies, Healthy Minds program while attending SFU in 2009. I was instantly drawn to the program as I read more about it, especially since the program would allow me to work with adolescent girls who were experiencing issues that I could relate to. I fully supported the programs goals of balanced eating, maintaining an active lifestyle, enhancing self-esteem, and most importantly – to have fun!

The Go Girls! program coordinator, Carolyn Fernie, has provided me with the tools and motivation needed to be a successful facilitator and role model for the young girls that I have worked with. The training session that each mentor participates in helps to ease any anxiety about being a facilitator.

During my months as a mentor, I learned to be patient with the girls as some needed to be motivated to participate. I enjoyed the challenge of moulding the sessions to best fit the needs of the individuals that I worked with. There is definitely no “one size fits all” model of running the sessions as the group dynamics can vary greatly. Although it can be frustrating and challenging at times, it is definitely a very rewarding experience to see how much the girls excel during our time together. Even with the toughest groups, it is amazing how much respect, trust and understanding can be established amongst the girls during the eight weeks of the program.

Overall, knowing that my time has enlightened the lives of young girls in even a subtle way makes me feel that I have made a difference in their lives. Many of the girls in this program come from various backgrounds and family situations and this diversity adds challenges as well as an opportunity to build friendships, sympathy, and understanding. I think the support provided by a Go Girls! mentor helps these young girls cope with difficulties they may be experiencing and provides a confidential environment in which they can talk about these issues.

Thank you, Big Sisters, for giving me such a wonderful opportunity!

Written by Kam Johal, Go Girls! Healthy Bodies, Healthy Minds mentor

2010-10-26
Two Special Mentors
I was 12 years old when I first got matched with my Big Sister Glenda. I was so nervous at first because I didn’t want someone my parents’ age -- I wanted someone who knew about the world and could help guide me through it. Once I started hanging out with Glenda I realized that she was fun and had a great sense of humor. We quickly figured out that we are both Leos and Year of the Horse so we knew it was a match made in heaven. Glenda saw that I had difficulties in reading and writing and suggested I get a Study Buddy tutor through Big Sisters. So a few months later I got matched with Dana. I was worried that she was going to be like my teachers and it would just be more school work after school was done, but Dana was very caring and took as much time as I needed with my homework and made up fun activities to teach me how to sound out words and how to spell them.

Growing up it was just my dad, my sister Marina, who is developmentally delayed, and me. It was hard to talk to Marina about things happening in my life because she just didn’t understand. My dad met a woman who he thought was good for us, but in the end they just fought and I fell further. I finally made the choice to leave and move in with my aunt and uncle. I was in grade 10 at the time and moved from North Vancouver to New Westminster. It was hard but I wanted to finish my schooling in North Vancouver and Glenda and Dana supported my decision and were there for me whenever I need someone to talk to. I am proud to say I graduated from high school because of them.

I am so gratefully for being able to have both a Big Sister and Study Buddy. They have both helped me out in very different areas of my life and have made me the confident woman I am today. I would like to thank Glenda and Dana for always being there for me and for continuing to be there for me and I would like to thank Big Sisters for matching me with two amazing women.

Written by Marley, alumni Little Sister from 2002

PHOTO: Dana, Marley, and Glenda at the 2008 Big Sisters Gala

2010-10-19
Martina & Masha's Video Blog

2010-10-12
A Big Sister's Luck
Everyone talks about how lucky my Little Sister is. How lucky she is to have me in her life, how she would never have graduated high school without my support, the opportunities she has had with me: attending plays and musicals, eating out, learning to cook and bake, weekends away …those are the things everyone sees.

No one really sees the impact on ME of having a Little Sister. Here are the things I would never have experienced without my Little Sister. I would never have understood how many different headbands are available and just how many one person requires. I would not have seen every princess movie released in the last few years (about 11 by my count!). My taste in music has expanded widely – my little loves Ke$ha and Eminem as well as Michael Buble (so cute!). I can discuss Glee and Gossip Girls and any Robert Pattinson news. She keeps me younger and au courant.

I now have a First Nations family. I have learned so much about another culture. My Little’s stepmother and step-grandmother and seven year old half-sister are part of my family and I am part of theirs. We all pitch in when there is trouble and celebrate together when things are good. My life and community is so much broader.

Did I mention how much she makes me laugh? Did I mention how much I cried at her graduation when she thanked me from the stage?

I know everyone thinks my Little Sister is so lucky. But I am so lucky too.

Written by Dawn Brennan, Big Sister from 1996-2009

2010-10-05
A Mother’s and Daughter’s Thanks
My name is Aziza and I'm proud to be part of the Study Buddy program! I can't tell you how much my tutor has helped me improve in my needed subjects. I want to thank the Study Buddy program for all it's done for me. I have had two Study Buddies in the past 4 years because the first one couldn't teach me anymore. She left me with a lot of knowledge in science, socials and reading. After her, I got paired up with the most amazing tutor in English. She has helped me boost up my grades by one or more grade levels!  I couldn't have done it with out her!  The Study Buddy program is an amazing and awesome way to get a little help in subjects others might find challenging.

So congratz Big Sisters on celebrating 50 years of amazingness! Hope many more years will come!

Sincerely,
♥ Aziza, age 13, Little Sister Study Buddy since 2007


My name is Susana Rustemova and I'm Aziza's mother. I would like to thank the Big Sisters program for giving my daughter confidence at school. When we came to Canada, we didn't speak English and the Big Sisters program helped her find the confidence to make close friends and helped her in studies she may have not understood.  I do not regret one thing about putting her in this great program.  I encourage other parents to let their children go through the Study Buddy program.  They use the Little Sister's personality and match it with the Study Buddy.  That way they have a lot in common, study hard, and have fun at it!

Thank you so much, Big Sisters!  Congratulations on your 50 years!  May many more wonderful years come!

With Love,
Susan Rustemova, Aziza’s mother and an Uzbekistan immigrant

2010-09-27
Small Gestures, Big Impact
I think I was around age 11 when I got referred to Big Sisters – it was in the mid-1980s. My mom referred me to Big Sisters because she was a single mom with six kids – all girls – and she worked full-time so she was rarely home and, when she was home, she was really tired.

The first time I met my Big Sister Sue I saw that she was friendly and I got the feeling that she was a really nice person. At that time in my life, because my mom was so busy, I didn’t really have any other role models around me. I had two older sisters but they had already left the house and one became a parent herself and the other one was into drinking and wasn’t able to be there for me as a role model. So when Sue came into my life, it was a key time for me.

Sue spent quality time with me and our time together had a big impact on my life. We used to do simple things like taking her dogs for a walk and in the summer we would garden together – I had never had anyone to show me how to garden before. We used to do baking and biking and all of these activities that I had never done with my mom or with anyone else. I was a very shy girl and I was awkward in social situations but, by spending time with Sue, I became more confident in social situations and I made more friends. I remember we went to the Big Sisters Camp – we met lots of people there and we went canoeing -- I had never done that before.

The friendship that I had with Sue was so important because I grew up in a very dysfunctional home – my upbringing was not very safe or healthy. Sue heard about my family situations but she never judged me, she just listened. Sue gave me so much care and concern and it was wonderful because I had never had a positive relationship with a female in my life like that before. A lot of the females in my life were into drinking and my mom was too busy so I didn’t really have anyone in my life then. It was so nice to have that one-to-one time with Sue. When I would go to Sue’s house she used to make me macaroni and cheese – every time I asked her to make it she’d say yes. She’d make me blueberry muffins too. It was simple things like that. Sue really made me feel special, cared for and loved.

When I got to my teenage years I rebelled really bad and got into drinking and into trouble with friends. Whenever I called Sue during that time she was sad and worried about me, but she said she just wanted me to take care of myself. All of Sue’s love and care was one of the reasons why I eventually decided I shouldn’t be doing all that. Her friendship was very healing for me. Sue didn’t counsel me, she just spent time with me. It was wonderful. I directly contribute where I am in my life today to Sue. Her friendship and caring and the quality time she spent with me went a long way.

In 2004 when I referred my daughter Tianna to Big Sisters, I was a single mom and going to school so she needed to spend time with another positive role model. Tianna’s been through some trauma, which has affected her in many ways, so having a Big Sister to talk to was really good for her. I think it has had a positive impact on Tianna’s life. She’s a lot happier and more confident as a result of spending time with her Big Sister. As her mom, I’m very happy she’s had Big Sisters because they’ve all had a very positive impact on her.

My Big Sister Sue and I are still in touch today even though she lives in Saskatchewan now. We talk every now and then and I send her pictures. Whenever I talk to her I always tell her how grateful I am for her. She’s wonderful – there isn’t enough that I can say about Sue. The time she spent with me has affected my life and how I am with my kids today. I do the small things for my kids now like making them macaroni and cheese like Sue used to make for me and making sure they’re comfortable and happy – that same care that Sue gave me and that I didn’t have at home when I was young. I still have my past issues and things that I witnessed as a child that I am working through, but I believe that who I am today – the kind of mom I am and the kind of person that I’ve turned out to be – is because of Sue. Being a First Nations woman, my life could have been very different. I’ve seen my other friends – friends from the same background but friends who didn’t have a Big Sister – end up on skid row, or lose their way, or die from alcoholism. That could have easily been me but, because Sue gave me so much love, I was able to love myself back. She was one of the reasons that I bettered my life.
As told to Lisa Cloutier by Josephine (former Little Sister and mom of current Little Sister Tianna)

2010-09-21
My Experience with Big Sisters
Being a Little Sister has been one of the powerful and influential experiences of my life. My Big Sister Krista and I were matched up when I was 13, shortly after my older sister moved away from home.  As soon as I met Krista I knew that she was a very special person. I  was a very shy kid, but she was so kind and I felt comfortable talking to her.  The connection for me was immediate.  I look back on our first meeting and I see it as one of the most fortunate days of my life -- I now believe in perfect matches!

Throughout our years with Big Sisters, Krista and I had so many exciting experiences.  From going to watch the Vancouver Symphony Orchestra and Romeo and Juliet live, to screaming our heads off at hockey games and concerts.  But the most memorable moments for me have been simply hanging out at the beach or sitting on her couch watching movies.

Nine long years have gone by and I’m so happy I can say I have a friend in Krista.  She has guided me and offered me advice when I was lost.  She has been a huge part of my development into the person I am today, and I feel so lucky to have her in my life.  We’ve laughed together, cried together, shared experiences, and all out had an awesome time!  I LOVE YOU GIRL!!

Written by Ashley, alumni Little Sister (2001-2007)

2010-09-14
A True Sister…for 32 Years
My name is Peggy Rakkar.  I am a former Little Sister who was matched with my Big Sister when I was 8 years old and I am still in contact with her today (I am now 41 years old).  We call each other sisters and my boys call her Aunty. She was at the birth of two of my boys who are now 22, 20 and 17.  I would just like to say she is the best thing that ever happened to me.  My childhood was not a good one until she came into my life.  My mother was very abusive to me both verbally and physically.  My Big Sister made me look at myself and know that it was a problem my mother had and not me.  This is just a little glimpse of what we have gone through: her divorce, the death of her first son, and the health of her adopted son; the loss of both my mother and father plus little brother; and family problems with my oldest son and husband.  My Big Sister also helped me when I went to school to take my care aide course.  She is an RN and I wanted to do something similar to what she has done with her career.  I have now been in the healthcare field for 12 years.  I believe my life would have been much different if I did not have my Big Sister in my life.

I really believe that Big Sisters made it possible for me to not only have a life, but also a true sister.  My Big Sister gave me the confidence to live my life and to accept myself and to know that I was not useless as I was told daily.  Thank you to Big Sisters for my Big Sister.

Written by Peggy Rakkar, Little Sister from 1978

2010-09-07
Stories from a Study Buddy Match
Ayelet’s Story - An Energetic Tutee’s Experience

The first time I met my Study Buddy, Kelsey, at the Big Sisters House was a great experience because it gave me a chance to meet her before we started working together. When I first saw her I had a really good feeling about how studying with Kelsey was going to work out. Now, I feel even better, since I have gotten to know Kelsey more. She is both funny and strict, but most of the time she is really funny and really fun to be with.

Kelsey is always encouraging. She tells me that if I try I will succeed in what I do. She often says to me, “Think harder, Ayelet, and then you’ll get the right answer.”

Kelsey even makes studying fun! One of the times that Kelsey and I studied together we were working on science and my teacher wanted me to study the parts of the microscope. This seemed like a boring task, but Kelsey made studying into a fun game by giving me a few minutes to study the parts and then covering up the labels and having me label the parts from my memory.


Kelsey’s Story – A Proud Tutor’s Perspective

When I was first introduced to Ayelet I was apprehensive about how she would react to me. I was unsure about how to act around her, but I figured the best thing I could do was to be accepting, bright-eyed, and ready to learn. This must have worked since we have gotten along well since our first meeting.

My tutoring sessions with Ayelet are very diverse, but we always seem to have a good time. Even when both of us are tired, we work well together. I have found that bringing work for Ayelet that is slightly above her comfort zone and grade level helps boost her confidence and her drive to succeed. Ayelet is always willing to work harder in order to overcome a new and challenging task.

I could not ask for a better Little Sister Study Buddy than Ayelet. She has become more open to me emotionally in the past year and I believe that she trusts me. This has made our study sessions both enjoyable and successful. I hope to help her through the tough world of high school and be present to witness her success when she graduates.

Written by Study Buddies Kelsey & Ayelet, matched since January 2009

2010-08-31
Being a Friend
What does it take to be a friend – a role model – to a child?  Interestingly, it doesn't take any special skill set to make an enormous, positive difference in the life of a child.  In fact, research suggests that it is simply being a friend, as opposed to purposely trying to guide, steer, coach, teach or direct a youth, that is most important in a mentoring relationship.  As a Big Sister I often found this difficult to remember.  I would worry about the fact that my Little Sister's friends were trying drugs or that her grades were too low and I would feel an incredibly strong impulse to parent.  Thankfully, I was generally able to reign myself in and concentrate on having fun and supporting her through my friendship instead of providing unsolicited advice. 

In writing my dissertation on predicting success in mentoring matches, I had the opportunity to review much research on the topic of mentoring and what it takes to have a successful mentoring relationship.  The literature suggests that the things that really make a difference in mentoring are: hanging in there (relationships that last over a year are proven to be the most effective), listening, being available, developing a close bond, and having fun... interestingly, the very same things that tend to positively impact all our relationships.

So don't worry if you don't know the right answer to your Little's question - the truly important thing is that she feels comfortable enough to ask it!

Written by Jocelyn, alumni Big Sister and board member, and researcher

2010-08-24
A Proud Big Sister
I’ve been a Big Sister since the 1970s.  Over four decades!  It is wonderful to see how my Little Sister, Ana, grew into a self-confident, positive woman. It’s been an adventure. From a seven-year-old girl with no front teeth, playing with ‘My Little Pony’, to a very lively, outgoing and outspoken teenager, to a young woman graduating from university, to the pride I felt when Ana kept her dignity and steadfastness when her mother was dying of ALS, to a bride, and watching her as she became a mother.

I know that much of Ana’s strength lies in the support she received along the way.  From her family, my love and support, and from us following the basic philosophy of the Big Sisters organization: to enhance the confidence, self-esteem and well-being of girls through supportive friendships with caring women.  I’m very proud to be a Big Sister, and the most important thing Ana taught me is that every obstacle does have some sort of opportunity … IF you approach it like Ana has - with humor, a positive attitude and dignity.  She has had a lot of tough times and heartache. She takes the bumps along the road of life in stride, just as she does the smooth spots.  Ana Tajuelo makes me very proud, and I love her more for the woman she has become.

Big Sisters is integral to the structure of our society. Times are tough, people have great needs, especially young girls, and if there is an opportunity to have a friend and an organization like Big Sisters whose sole purpose is to offer supportive friendships. Big Sisters is a life-changing opportunity. For the Little Sisters, and the women who become their Big Sisters.  Just ask Ana or me.


Written by Margo Bates, alumni Big Sister since the 1970s

2010-08-17
32 Years of Sisterhood
My name is Pauline Barratt. I joined Big Sisters in 1971 when the office was still in the old YWCA on Burrard Street. Before I met Peggy I had several Little Sisters who I thoroughly enjoyed being with, however, for various and differing reasons, each of these relationships finally ended.

In March of 1978 I was matched with Peggy as my new Little Sister. Little did I know that, 32 years later, we would still be in contact. In fact, it is much more than contact – we are truly sisters and friends. I always wanted a sister and love having Peggy in my life. I have watched her boys grow and mature into young men. In fact, I was the very first person, other than medical staff, to see Peggy's youngest son after he was born. What a thrill and a privilege that was.

Peggy had more than her share of difficulties and challenges in her childhood and over the years. I also have had major life challenges. Through it all – family troubles, deaths of loved ones, raising children, ill health, and other life problems – we have been there for each other. And it has always been a gift for me to have a sister in my life. As an immigrant to Canada (from Australia in 1969) the only family I have here is my second son and, as much as I love him, he isn't into doing 'girl stuff' with his mom.

Peggy and I have shared common interests such as going out for walks, going to the movies and working in health care. There are great memories of going to Big Sisters parties and weekend camps. Peggy was in one of my groups when I presented the “Growing Up Female” program many years ago.

Peggy often reminds me about the influence I have had on her life. However, I often think she sells herself short. I have great admiration for her courage and ability to forge through the troubles she has experienced and yet still maintain a caring for people, an ability to be a good friend, and a strong work ethic. Peggy always had concern about her ability to learn – but she is smarter than she believes. She passed her resident care aide course successfully and I'm always in awe of her ability to speak fluent Punjabi, which she learned as an adult when she married into a Sikh family. I can't even read the French label on a can of food.

I am proud to share a sisterhood with her. Peggy is my sister in every way that counts, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Written by Pauline Barratt, alumni Big Sister since 1971

2010-08-10
Hidden Treasures of Go Girls! Healthy Bodies, Healthy Minds
As the program coordinator for Big Sisters’ Go Girls! Healthy Bodies, Healthy Minds program I have the honour of meeting the participating girls, ages 11-14, for the first two hour session and then for the last session, eight weeks later.

What I love about these visits to the schools is witnessing the amazing positive changes that occur for the girls over the course of the two month Go Girls! program. Go Girls! Healthy Bodies, Healthy Minds sets out to encourage active living, balanced eating and feeling good about oneself, but often there is so much more that happens for these girls within this group mentoring program. For the participants, the first session is often met with feelings of uncertainty, awkwardness and anxiety as they are invited to participate in a group with peers they may not know. During these first sessions, I have met with girls who have difficulty making eye contact, girls that opt out of all of the interactive group activities, and girls that seem withdrawn and self-conscious about their participation in the program.

When I arrive for the eighth session, I am pleasantly surprised by the incredible differences in the girls’ interactions. The uncomfortable quiet of the first day is forgotten as I enter a room that is abuzz with laughter, chatter, excitement and girls exchanging phone numbers. Just recently, I had the pleasure of witnessing a simple, yet powerful interaction between two girls. One of the girls was described as socially isolated, especially in the school environment where she spent lunch time alone. During the last Go Girls! session, this same girl received a heart-felt hug from one of her peers in the program who then said “we should get together sometime”. Both girls were beaming from ear to ear and the message was simple – I am happy, I have made a friend. It is this development of new, positive peer relationships and social connectedness within the school environment that can be life-altering for these girls. These are what I refer to as the “hidden treasures” of the Go Girls! Healthy Bodies, Healthy Minds program.

For more information on Go Girls! Healthy Bodies, Healthy Minds, please contact me at 604-873-4525 ext. 311 or cfernie@bigsisters.bc.ca.

Carolyn Fernie, Big Sisters employee since 2003

2010-08-03
Emily's Story
My name is Emily. I joined the Study Buddy program two years ago. I got involved in this program because of my teacher. She recommended the Study Buddy program to me and I liked it very much.

This program helps me with my school work. My Study Buddy, Penny, helped me a lot with my science when I was in Science 10. She helps me with my chemistry and other subjects too.

I didn’t like to talk to people and I remember the first time I saw Penny, I was very shy. I didn’t know what I could talk to her about and I didn’t like talking either. But now, I am totally different. I am not shy any more. I became very talkative and enjoy speaking in front of people. Another big difference is my English improved a lot, mainly because of Penny’s help.

I learned a lot of valuable things from Penny. She taught me how helping other people can make them feel extremely welcomed and how to try my best to do things and don’t give up. She told me to set goals for little things in order to get a big success. Penny is very busy but she would like to make an appointment with my teacher to talk about my future career. I am so impressed by her that she thinks and worries about my career and my chemistry.

Many times I have told myself how lucky I am to have a chance to be Penny’s Little Sister, and how lucky I am to get involved in this Study Buddy program. From the depth of my heart, I want to say “Thank you so much, Penny. Thank you for all your help and hard work. And thank you, Study Buddy program, for having me involved”.

Emily, age 16, Little Sister Study Buddy since 2008 (Emily immigrated from China with her family in 2008)

2010-07-27
A Letter from a Little Sister
Dear Big Sisters and Readers,

My name is Shupri. I am 13 years old. I am in grade 7 and I’ve been matched up with my Big Sister Christina since June 2009. It has been one the greatest things that have ever happened to me because this has been an experience that has changed my life in the best way.

My life before Christina was ideal but not perfect – and no one’s life is perfect but I felt that I had more flaws inside myself than most people. I was feeling very sad and wasn’t able to laugh it off like others can. So when I heard about Big Sisters, I didn’t know how to feel – no one I knew was involved with them. I was nervous. I wrote in my application that I wanted someone who had been bullied or who had felt as alone as I felt when they were in elementary school (or high school).  That’s when I was matched up with Christina.  She is one of the kindness people you will meet in all your life.  When I met her for the first time, I knew this would be the most exciting thing ever.  And her smile just slapped me in the heart because it was so welcoming even though we were both super nervous.  She is truly changing my life for the better.

Now what do Big and Little Sisters do together?  It’s different for different matches but, for us, we like to do more down-to-earth things like play board games on a rainy day, rent a movie, take a walk down Main Street, etc.  But then we do the things everyone just wishes they could do like watch a Canucks game… in the BOX. O yeah! And watch a BC Lion’s football game, and so much more.  Christina also helps me with schools projects like when my class had to get into groups and lip-sync and dance to the song of your choice.  I asked Christina if she could help me and she did more than just help me – she got a friend who is a movie producer and we made it a mini grade 7 student’s MUSIC VIDEO! It is so cool and it’s also on YouTube so you could search it if you want – I’m not kidding!  Big Sisters don’t do your homework, but they encourage their Little Sisters, like me, to rock out in front of a video camera and feel like a superstar anytime.  Christina truly helps me believe that I can be whatever I want, no matter how crazy and/or insane it may be.

I think Big Sisters are helping girls like me feel that life can be even a little bit better with someone who can relate to you in ways your families can’t, because they’re your family.  So I still talk and chat with my mom about my problems and issues, but Christina is there so I have a friend to talk to about becoming the best woman I can be in more of a friend way.  And I hope we will be matched forever.

Little Sister Shupri, age 13 (pictured at right with her Big Sister Christina)

2010-07-20
How My Little Sister Impacted My Life
One of the things I never anticipated was how my Little Sister might impact my life and encourage me to do things that I never would have considered before. To be honest, when I started the process of becoming a Big Sister way back in 1996, I thought that I would be giving everything to my Little Sister -instead it was her who taught me things about myself. At that time, I was a youthful 22 years old and embarking on my career as a social worker. I remember cramming into a packed house with a room full of volunteers sharing our reasons about why we wanted to become Big Sisters.

Kirsten and I were matched in 1997 and I remember arriving at her house only to find out that her mother had forgotten our appointment. Kirsten was playing at Oppenheimer Park (at that time she was 8) and I didn’t think anything of it. Thankfully my counsellor at the time persevered and we found her sitting on the swing all by herself. It was one of those moments I will never forget.

Kirsten taught me what it meant to be open, honest and how important it was to communicate what you felt. She taught me that it doesn’t pay to get stressed out about the small things and that life can be as simple as you make it. One rainy afternoon we enjoyed doing nothing and just rode the bus until our transfers expired. We would spend our time baking and she never once complained that nothing ever turned out. She taught me that it was worth it not to give up as sometimes I would show up at her house only to find out that the family had other plans. But the next week they were there and we would carry on. We had sleepovers, skating lessons, and she came for family dinners. Her family came to my wedding and she introduced herself to all of my family as my Little Sister, convincing many that she truly was. She taught me that there is nothing to fear about difference and that all people are people underneath. She taught me about the value of family and their significance in our lives regardless of what history they may have.

Today, I have two young children of my own and, after a foray into Ministry child protection, I have returned to work with Big Sisters. Kirsten told me just a year ago after our on again, off again 12 year relationship, that there were two things that saved her and I was one of them.

Now, as I work with all the wonderful volunteers and families at Big Sisters, I can’t help think of Kirst every time I put a match together and wonder what their story will be in 10 years!

Thanks Kirst!

Written by Tiffany Britton, alumni Big Sister and current Big Sisters staff member

2010-07-13
Two Generations of Littles
Hi, my name is Shannon and I was once a Little Sister way back in the 1980's. I will say that my time and friendship with my Big Sister came at a good time in my life because I was able to spend one-on-one time with someone who always seemed interested in what I had to say. It felt good knowing that my Big Sister cared about me and enjoyed her time with me as well.

Over the years I have thought from time to time about my Big Sister and wondered how her life was for her and hoped she was well, so I guess you could say my Big Sister stayed in my heart even twenty five years later.

Today I am trying to get my eleven year old daughter a Study Buddy tutor through Big Sisters. I feel good knowing that she will have a positive and long-lasting impression as I did with my caring Big Sister.

Written by Shannon, former Little Sister and mom to a future Little Sister Study Buddy

2010-07-06
Lessons from the First Year of High School
Tianna’s Perspective (Little Sister Study Buddy)
Overall, my first year of high school was a great year. I went to a new school where I had different classes with different teachers. Some of the things I really liked about high school, some of them I didn’t. I had fun at my first dance, organized my first locker, and struggled with the teaching methods of one teacher. Although we did not always see eye to eye, I did learn a lesson from this teacher - In life, you are not always going to like everyone but with a little perseverance it is still possible to be successful. With determination, lots of frustration, and even more hard work, I got through Science class. Next year I will keep working hard and I will be successful once again. Bring on Grade 9 – although I am looking forward to a fun summer first!

Meghan’s Perspective (Study Buddy tutor)
Tianna’s first year of high school brought some new challenges for me – challenges I never expected. Due to an impersonal teaching style, a struggle resulted with one of Tianna’s teachers this year. It was incredibly difficult for me to watch Tianna struggle in one class while working harder than ever, and doing outstanding in all of her other classes. She demonstrated a maturity beyond her years as she did everything she could to make the best of a challenging situation. She reached out to her family, her counsellors as well as principal, and even me. Unfortunately all our hands were tied, as sometimes they are in life. We had to decide to make the best of this situation and keep working hard. This reminded me that sometimes in life, you are not going to get along with everyone, and not everyone is going to like you, but if you work hard, and maintain your integrity, you can make the best of difficult situations.

Written by Meghan & Tianna, Study Buddies since 2005

2010-06-29
Camps, Rice Krispies and a Canuck – A Little’s Memories