2010-08-31
Being a Friend
What does it take to be a friend – a role model – to a child?  Interestingly, it doesn't take any special skill set to make an enormous, positive difference in the life of a child.  In fact, research suggests that it is simply being a friend, as opposed to purposely trying to guide, steer, coach, teach or direct a youth, that is most important in a mentoring relationship.  As a Big Sister I often found this difficult to remember.  I would worry about the fact that my Little Sister's friends were trying drugs or that her grades were too low and I would feel an incredibly strong impulse to parent.  Thankfully, I was generally able to reign myself in and concentrate on having fun and supporting her through my friendship instead of providing unsolicited advice. 

In writing my dissertation on predicting success in mentoring matches, I had the opportunity to review much research on the topic of mentoring and what it takes to have a successful mentoring relationship.  The literature suggests that the things that really make a difference in mentoring are: hanging in there (relationships that last over a year are proven to be the most effective), listening, being available, developing a close bond, and having fun... interestingly, the very same things that tend to positively impact all our relationships.

So don't worry if you don't know the right answer to your Little's question - the truly important thing is that she feels comfortable enough to ask it!

Written by Jocelyn, alumni Big Sister and board member, and researcher

2010-08-24
A Proud Big Sister
I’ve been a Big Sister since the 1970s.  Over four decades!  It is wonderful to see how my Little Sister, Ana, grew into a self-confident, positive woman. It’s been an adventure. From a seven-year-old girl with no front teeth, playing with ‘My Little Pony’, to a very lively, outgoing and outspoken teenager, to a young woman graduating from university, to the pride I felt when Ana kept her dignity and steadfastness when her mother was dying of ALS, to a bride, and watching her as she became a mother.

I know that much of Ana’s strength lies in the support she received along the way.  From her family, my love and support, and from us following the basic philosophy of the Big Sisters organization: to enhance the confidence, self-esteem and well-being of girls through supportive friendships with caring women.  I’m very proud to be a Big Sister, and the most important thing Ana taught me is that every obstacle does have some sort of opportunity … IF you approach it like Ana has - with humor, a positive attitude and dignity.  She has had a lot of tough times and heartache. She takes the bumps along the road of life in stride, just as she does the smooth spots.  Ana Tajuelo makes me very proud, and I love her more for the woman she has become.

Big Sisters is integral to the structure of our society. Times are tough, people have great needs, especially young girls, and if there is an opportunity to have a friend and an organization like Big Sisters whose sole purpose is to offer supportive friendships. Big Sisters is a life-changing opportunity. For the Little Sisters, and the women who become their Big Sisters.  Just ask Ana or me.


Written by Margo Bates, alumni Big Sister since the 1970s

2010-08-17
32 Years of Sisterhood
My name is Pauline Barratt. I joined Big Sisters in 1971 when the office was still in the old YWCA on Burrard Street. Before I met Peggy I had several Little Sisters who I thoroughly enjoyed being with, however, for various and differing reasons, each of these relationships finally ended.

In March of 1978 I was matched with Peggy as my new Little Sister. Little did I know that, 32 years later, we would still be in contact. In fact, it is much more than contact – we are truly sisters and friends. I always wanted a sister and love having Peggy in my life. I have watched her boys grow and mature into young men. In fact, I was the very first person, other than medical staff, to see Peggy's youngest son after he was born. What a thrill and a privilege that was.

Peggy had more than her share of difficulties and challenges in her childhood and over the years. I also have had major life challenges. Through it all – family troubles, deaths of loved ones, raising children, ill health, and other life problems – we have been there for each other. And it has always been a gift for me to have a sister in my life. As an immigrant to Canada (from Australia in 1969) the only family I have here is my second son and, as much as I love him, he isn't into doing 'girl stuff' with his mom.

Peggy and I have shared common interests such as going out for walks, going to the movies and working in health care. There are great memories of going to Big Sisters parties and weekend camps. Peggy was in one of my groups when I presented the “Growing Up Female” program many years ago.

Peggy often reminds me about the influence I have had on her life. However, I often think she sells herself short. I have great admiration for her courage and ability to forge through the troubles she has experienced and yet still maintain a caring for people, an ability to be a good friend, and a strong work ethic. Peggy always had concern about her ability to learn – but she is smarter than she believes. She passed her resident care aide course successfully and I'm always in awe of her ability to speak fluent Punjabi, which she learned as an adult when she married into a Sikh family. I can't even read the French label on a can of food.

I am proud to share a sisterhood with her. Peggy is my sister in every way that counts, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Written by Pauline Barratt, alumni Big Sister since 1971

2010-08-10
Hidden Treasures of Go Girls! Healthy Bodies, Healthy Minds
As the program coordinator for Big Sisters’ Go Girls! Healthy Bodies, Healthy Minds program I have the honour of meeting the participating girls, ages 11-14, for the first two hour session and then for the last session, eight weeks later.

What I love about these visits to the schools is witnessing the amazing positive changes that occur for the girls over the course of the two month Go Girls! program. Go Girls! Healthy Bodies, Healthy Minds sets out to encourage active living, balanced eating and feeling good about oneself, but often there is so much more that happens for these girls within this group mentoring program. For the participants, the first session is often met with feelings of uncertainty, awkwardness and anxiety as they are invited to participate in a group with peers they may not know. During these first sessions, I have met with girls who have difficulty making eye contact, girls that opt out of all of the interactive group activities, and girls that seem withdrawn and self-conscious about their participation in the program.

When I arrive for the eighth session, I am pleasantly surprised by the incredible differences in the girls’ interactions. The uncomfortable quiet of the first day is forgotten as I enter a room that is abuzz with laughter, chatter, excitement and girls exchanging phone numbers. Just recently, I had the pleasure of witnessing a simple, yet powerful interaction between two girls. One of the girls was described as socially isolated, especially in the school environment where she spent lunch time alone. During the last Go Girls! session, this same girl received a heart-felt hug from one of her peers in the program who then said “we should get together sometime”. Both girls were beaming from ear to ear and the message was simple – I am happy, I have made a friend. It is this development of new, positive peer relationships and social connectedness within the school environment that can be life-altering for these girls. These are what I refer to as the “hidden treasures” of the Go Girls! Healthy Bodies, Healthy Minds program.

For more information on Go Girls! Healthy Bodies, Healthy Minds, please contact me at 604-873-4525 ext. 311 or cfernie@bigsisters.bc.ca.

Carolyn Fernie, Big Sisters employee since 2003

2010-08-03
Emily's Story
My name is Emily. I joined the Study Buddy program two years ago. I got involved in this program because of my teacher. She recommended the Study Buddy program to me and I liked it very much.

This program helps me with my school work. My Study Buddy, Penny, helped me a lot with my science when I was in Science 10. She helps me with my chemistry and other subjects too.

I didn’t like to talk to people and I remember the first time I saw Penny, I was very shy. I didn’t know what I could talk to her about and I didn’t like talking either. But now, I am totally different. I am not shy any more. I became very talkative and enjoy speaking in front of people. Another big difference is my English improved a lot, mainly because of Penny’s help.

I learned a lot of valuable things from Penny. She taught me how helping other people can make them feel extremely welcomed and how to try my best to do things and don’t give up. She told me to set goals for little things in order to get a big success. Penny is very busy but she would like to make an appointment with my teacher to talk about my future career. I am so impressed by her that she thinks and worries about my career and my chemistry.

Many times I have told myself how lucky I am to have a chance to be Penny’s Little Sister, and how lucky I am to get involved in this Study Buddy program. From the depth of my heart, I want to say “Thank you so much, Penny. Thank you for all your help and hard work. And thank you, Study Buddy program, for having me involved”.

Emily, age 16, Little Sister Study Buddy since 2008 (Emily immigrated from China with her family in 2008)

2010-07-27
A Letter from a Little Sister
Dear Big Sisters and Readers,

My name is Shupri. I am 13 years old. I am in grade 7 and I’ve been matched up with my Big Sister Christina since June 2009. It has been one the greatest things that have ever happened to me because this has been an experience that has changed my life in the best way.

My life before Christina was ideal but not perfect – and no one’s life is perfect but I felt that I had more flaws inside myself than most people. I was feeling very sad and wasn’t able to laugh it off like others can. So when I heard about Big Sisters, I didn’t know how to feel – no one I knew was involved with them. I was nervous. I wrote in my application that I wanted someone who had been bullied or who had felt as alone as I felt when they were in elementary school (or high school).  That’s when I was matched up with Christina.  She is one of the kindness people you will meet in all your life.  When I met her for the first time, I knew this would be the most exciting thing ever.  And her smile just slapped me in the heart because it was so welcoming even though we were both super nervous.  She is truly changing my life for the better.

Now what do Big and Little Sisters do together?  It’s different for different matches but, for us, we like to do more down-to-earth things like play board games on a rainy day, rent a movie, take a walk down Main Street, etc.  But then we do the things everyone just wishes they could do like watch a Canucks game… in the BOX. O yeah! And watch a BC Lion’s football game, and so much more.  Christina also helps me with schools projects like when my class had to get into groups and lip-sync and dance to the song of your choice.  I asked Christina if she could help me and she did more than just help me – she got a friend who is a movie producer and we made it a mini grade 7 student’s MUSIC VIDEO! It is so cool and it’s also on YouTube so you could search it if you want – I’m not kidding!  Big Sisters don’t do your homework, but they encourage their Little Sisters, like me, to rock out in front of a video camera and feel like a superstar anytime.  Christina truly helps me believe that I can be whatever I want, no matter how crazy and/or insane it may be.

I think Big Sisters are helping girls like me feel that life can be even a little bit better with someone who can relate to you in ways your families can’t, because they’re your family.  So I still talk and chat with my mom about my problems and issues, but Christina is there so I have a friend to talk to about becoming the best woman I can be in more of a friend way.  And I hope we will be matched forever.

Little Sister Shupri, age 13 (pictured at right with her Big Sister Christina)

2010-07-20
How My Little Sister Impacted My Life
One of the things I never anticipated was how my Little Sister might impact my life and encourage me to do things that I never would have considered before. To be honest, when I started the process of becoming a Big Sister way back in 1996, I thought that I would be giving everything to my Little Sister -instead it was her who taught me things about myself. At that time, I was a youthful 22 years old and embarking on my career as a social worker. I remember cramming into a packed house with a room full of volunteers sharing our reasons about why we wanted to become Big Sisters.

Kirsten and I were matched in 1997 and I remember arriving at her house only to find out that her mother had forgotten our appointment. Kirsten was playing at Oppenheimer Park (at that time she was 8) and I didn’t think anything of it. Thankfully my counsellor at the time persevered and we found her sitting on the swing all by herself. It was one of those moments I will never forget.

Kirsten taught me what it meant to be open, honest and how important it was to communicate what you felt. She taught me that it doesn’t pay to get stressed out about the small things and that life can be as simple as you make it. One rainy afternoon we enjoyed doing nothing and just rode the bus until our transfers expired. We would spend our time baking and she never once complained that nothing ever turned out. She taught me that it was worth it not to give up as sometimes I would show up at her house only to find out that the family had other plans. But the next week they were there and we would carry on. We had sleepovers, skating lessons, and she came for family dinners. Her family came to my wedding and she introduced herself to all of my family as my Little Sister, convincing many that she truly was. She taught me that there is nothing to fear about difference and that all people are people underneath. She taught me about the value of family and their significance in our lives regardless of what history they may have.

Today, I have two young children of my own and, after a foray into Ministry child protection, I have returned to work with Big Sisters. Kirsten told me just a year ago after our on again, off again 12 year relationship, that there were two things that saved her and I was one of them.

Now, as I work with all the wonderful volunteers and families at Big Sisters, I can’t help think of Kirst every time I put a match together and wonder what their story will be in 10 years!

Thanks Kirst!

Written by Tiffany Britton, alumni Big Sister and current Big Sisters staff member

2010-07-13
Two Generations of Littles
Hi, my name is Shannon and I was once a Little Sister way back in the 1980's. I will say that my time and friendship with my Big Sister came at a good time in my life because I was able to spend one-on-one time with someone who always seemed interested in what I had to say. It felt good knowing that my Big Sister cared about me and enjoyed her time with me as well.

Over the years I have thought from time to time about my Big Sister and wondered how her life was for her and hoped she was well, so I guess you could say my Big Sister stayed in my heart even twenty five years later.

Today I am trying to get my eleven year old daughter a Study Buddy tutor through Big Sisters. I feel good knowing that she will have a positive and long-lasting impression as I did with my caring Big Sister.

Written by Shannon, former Little Sister and mom to a future Little Sister Study Buddy

2010-07-06
Lessons from the First Year of High School
Tianna’s Perspective (Little Sister Study Buddy)
Overall, my first year of high school was a great year. I went to a new school where I had different classes with different teachers. Some of the things I really liked about high school, some of them I didn’t. I had fun at my first dance, organized my first locker, and struggled with the teaching methods of one teacher. Although we did not always see eye to eye, I did learn a lesson from this teacher - In life, you are not always going to like everyone but with a little perseverance it is still possible to be successful. With determination, lots of frustration, and even more hard work, I got through Science class. Next year I will keep working hard and I will be successful once again. Bring on Grade 9 – although I am looking forward to a fun summer first!

Meghan’s Perspective (Study Buddy tutor)
Tianna’s first year of high school brought some new challenges for me – challenges I never expected. Due to an impersonal teaching style, a struggle resulted with one of Tianna’s teachers this year. It was incredibly difficult for me to watch Tianna struggle in one class while working harder than ever, and doing outstanding in all of her other classes. She demonstrated a maturity beyond her years as she did everything she could to make the best of a challenging situation. She reached out to her family, her counsellors as well as principal, and even me. Unfortunately all our hands were tied, as sometimes they are in life. We had to decide to make the best of this situation and keep working hard. This reminded me that sometimes in life, you are not going to get along with everyone, and not everyone is going to like you, but if you work hard, and maintain your integrity, you can make the best of difficult situations.

Written by Meghan & Tianna, Study Buddies since 2005

2010-06-29
Camps, Rice Krispies and a Canuck – A Little’s Memories

2010-06-22
12 Years and Counting
My Big Sister Denise and I met in 1998 when I was 9 years old. My experience of having a Big Sister through Big Sisters of BC Lower Mainland has been fantastic – it has been a wonderful12 years that I have spent with Denise! We’ve gone to camps on the weekends, which were truly amazing times. I have a lot of memories built up and friendships with Denise and other Big and Little Sisters through this program. Through camping trips and other events we met many other Big and Little Sisters – it has been a blessing getting to know them and we are still friends with some of them to this day. It has been an exciting journey throughout the last 12 years, and I hope some day I will become a Big Sister so that I can create many new memories and experience all this fun with the next generation of Little Sisters. Denise and I both have agreed that we are gonna be sisters for life!

Amanda Pollon, alumni Little Sister (1998-2008)

2010-06-15
A Mother's Story
I would like to share with people the incredible difference Big Sisters has had in our family. My eldest of three girls had been having a very difficult year at school having been bullied by her classmates and over the year had gone from a funny, bright, outgoing young girl to one that was tearful, sad and quiet, where listening to music locked up in her room was how she coped with her feelings. Her behaviour had escalated at home where she was unpleasant to be around and it was clear that she was in crisis. When asked about what would make the situation better, she would talk about having a friend. Someone she could talk to and feel good about. With school not being a source of friends for Shupri, a friend of mine suggested Big Sisters as a way to bring a positive role model into her life.

In June, 2009, Shupri was matched with her big sister Christina. It took a bit of time for them to get to know each other, but now, 10 months later, they are great friends. Christina is the ideal role model for a teen girl. She’s educated, employed, and hip. She had similar experiences in elementary school and is able to listen and support Shupri when she is struggling. They have lots of fun together. They see each other about four hours a week and the Big Sisters program offers outings and events that they enjoy taking part in. So far they have seen a hockey game, gone to a roller derby, shopped for new purses, worked on school projects together, and their favorite activity together is cooking.

This year, after changing schools and having to fit into a new school, the emotions have been high, but Shupri has conquered the issues and has maintained her self esteem. I believe that Christina has played a really big role in this, as she has been able to support Shupri in a way only a friend or Big Sister can.

Thank you Big Sisters and Christina!

Written by Cat, mom of Little Sister Shupri

2010-06-08
1979 Memories
My mother worked for Big Sisters in Vancouver when I was a little girl, this was the late 1970’s. Her job responsibilities involved meeting potential girls and women, screening them and making matches. For the first year of her job, my sister and I hung around the office, little office rats, stealing sugar cubes from the coffee and tea area and jealously looking at the Bigs and Littles as they were matched, and hanging out at the periphery of parties and events. Does anyone else remember that Main Street office?

Finally, after months of begging, my mother relented and matched me with Georgie Hendry and my sister with Linda Proudfoot, we were 8 and 11 at the time.

The next year and a half with Georgie were glorious. She was so much fun and very exciting. She drove a big Jeep with huge wheels and we tore around Vancouver with the top down and the wind whistling in our ears. She introduced me to music and bought me my first record, Kate Bush – we learned all the words to “Babooshka” and sang them while dancing around her tiny apartment. Georgie loved taking pictures and had a darkroom (well, it was really her bathroom), we went into the park and took pictures of each other and developed them in the dark room – I can still smell the chemicals.

That year (1979-1980) was a great year for parties. The Big Sisters Halloween party was fantastic. Georgie dressed up as a biker and I dressed up as Wonder Woman, we took first prize even though we both had the flu. The Big Sisters Christmas party was held out at UBC in a grand old mansion. Santa gave me a Hershey Bar and, to this day, I love a Hershey chocolate bar. We opened Christmas gifts under a huge Christmas tree to the roar of a bonfire. The next summer we went to Evans Lake to camp for the weekend – we learned about the ghosts of the campers under the rock slide and canoed and went on treasure hunts. Georgie and I put on a play and greatly amused ourselves, and, I hope, others.

After that amazing year we left Vancouver, Big Sisters, and my beloved Georgie behind. I never heard from her again, despite numerous attempts to find her. The memories of that year and the great compassion and fun left a huge legacy for me in my adult life. As a mother now to my own children, I try to find fun and adventure in the mundane. As a professional social worker working in adoptions, I now match families and children in the same way my mother once matched Bigs and Littles. I have a strong belief in justice, equality and advocacy.

Research into resilience – the power to overcome huge life obstacles – proves that having one single non-related person who cares for you and believes in you is the most significant factor for success in life, despite great adversity. Isn’t that interesting? Isn’t that exactly what Big Sisters is providing for the Littles? The gift of resilience is something that can’t be measured or quantified, just treasured.

Thank you Big Sisters and thank you, Georgie, I still miss the both of you.

Willow (Goddu) Yamauchi, Little Sister from 1979

2010-06-01
Princess Books and Barbies

2010-05-25
Putting the pictures in their place
Give a kid a few hours a week, and watch her soar. Throughout history, women have faced big challenges. We still do. But today, I think one of our biggest challenges is the way we react to the influences out there. Maybe it’s okay to be fascinated with celebrity, but when did we become so willing to alter our bodies with surgery, so quick to make ourselves sick chasing a number on a scale, or so vulnerable to the wrong crowd? Seems to me, we need something to offset the images, not even to label them bad or good, just put them in their place. I remember the painful, youthful struggle with both body image and self esteem like it was yesterday, and I believe there are ways to strike this critical balance. The influences will always be there. But when you have a strong sense of self, you don’t have to suffer the extremes. I am convinced that’s the difference a positive role model makes. We don’t always get the best grounding from those we look up to. Imagine what you may have been spared or how you may have benefited, if you had a woman to watch make her way in this world with certainty and strength of spirit, who encouraged you in your passion, and just spent a few hours a week with you. Give a girl a few hours a week, and watch her soar. It’s the difference Big Sisters makes. You don’t even have to have any answers. In this complicated life, some things really are so simple.

Written by Tamara Slobogean, Big Sister since 2006

2010-05-18
Out with negative media influences, in with summer fun!
I heard about Big Sisters’ 50th Anniversary Planning Committee from my friend through Facebook last spring. I’m not a Big Sister (yet!) but I have always wanted to be one and I thought this would be a great way to learn about Big Sisters and lend my marketing expertise to the organization at the same time.

One of the goals of the committee was to gather some background information that would help inform a new volunteer recruitment campaign, which was ultimately designed by MacLaren McCann. We decided that we wanted to celebrate this special anniversary by trying to serve more girls than ever before – and do to that we needed to find more volunteer mentors that was ever before! As we dug into the marketing objectives and direction for Big Sisters’ new volunteer campaign I heard, not only some amazing stories first hand, but I was also educated on how important it is for young girls to have a positive mentor in their lives. Without someone to help them find the important, positive things in life, it's hard to keep them from feeling the negative influences from the barrage of media messages that tackle them from every which way they can, every day.

I see girls constantly being exposed to images of model-thin girls, which I imagine makes them feel like they must look much the same way – an alarming trend for most of us to see! I think one of the many ways that a mentor can help young girls is by exposing them to ideas and activities that focus on healthy living, not body image. There are so many activities that can help all of us keep a healthy lifestyle – with positive impacts felt both internally and externally! Here are a few fun, ‘healthy living’ activities that I’ve come up with that matches could enjoy together during our Vancouver spring and summer weather!

1. Go to Granville Island Market and check out the colourful array of fruits, veggies and delicious food!
2. Visit one of the many farmers markets in town.
3. Pick farm fresh berries.
4. Try one of the famous Japadogs! (Not the healthiest, but not the worst! Corner of Smithe and Burrard)
5. Have a picnic in the park.

Written by Karen Parkinson, Big Sisters committee volunteer since 2009

2010-05-11
‘Fashionable’ Messages Not Always ‘In Style’ for Young Girls
I love the new advertising campaign launched by Big Sisters (www.bigsisters.bc.ca/en/Home/Volunteering/VolunteerRecruitment.aspx) especially because I have spent my working life in the fashion business and I know how confusing the messages of advertisers can be. We sometimes think of the fashion industry as being controlled by one central force that sets the direction that everyone else in the business follows, and it just isn’t true. Fashion advertising can be very good but it can also be embarrassing and sometimes it can be bad. This new campaign points out where it can be bad and where it has gone too far, especially for young girls who are so impressionable.

Girls want to grow up to be young women and sometimes they are in a hurry to do it, so they watch everything that young women are doing. Some advertisers take advantage of this and send messages that are meant to titillate so they can sell products. As a sponsor for Big Sisters, my company knows how important it is for young girls to have role models to show them what being a woman is really like. I congratulate Big Sisters for having the courage to challenge advertisers and point out how important it is to have real women as mentors.

Written by Ed des Roches and Katie O’Brien – owners of Plum and supporters of Big Sisters since 1995

Plum is currently raising money for Big Sisters in their stores from May 3-27 www.plum.ca.

2010-05-04
Girls Need More Positive Role Models
“As a young girl growing up, I felt that I could not open up to the one real role model in my life, which was my mother. I had no relationship with my father and no siblings to confide in. Who do you talk to when you don’t have an adult you can trust?”

This was the dilemma Corinne was faced with in her early teens and she found herself turning to ‘celebrity role models’ to look up to. Many of the girls referred to Big Sisters find themselves facing the same dilemma: they don’t have enough – or any – positive role models in their lives. Whether it’s because they’re going through a teenage phase like Corinne was where they don’t want to talk to their parent, or whether it’s due to more challenging life circumstances such as being shuttled between foster homes or dealing with family issues of addiction or abuse, some girls don’t feel they even have one person in their lives who they can look up to.

As a result, we see girls substituting real life mentors with pop culture icons that they idolize. Regardless of whether or not these celebrity role models are positive or negative influences on young girls (and, let’s face it, many are not positive!) they aren’t accessible role models. These pop culture media darlings are not people that young girls can spend time with or ask for advice. Miley Cyrus can’t be at their basketball game cheering them on and Lady Gaga certainly won’t invite them over to bake cookies and have a chat. In order for role models to truly matter in the life of a child, I believe they need to BE there. Children need adult mentors who are, not only positive influences, but who are present in their lives – not simply present on their computer or TV screen.

This was the inspiration for Big Sisters of BC Lower Mainland’s new volunteer recruitment campaign, which is launching this month. The campaign, created pro-bono by MacLaren McCann, targets potential volunteers by giving real world examples of what young girls face every day. Print ads use mock teen magazines (pictured below) to drive home the message. Every headline on the mock magazines was taken from an actual teen magazine cover. Knowing that young girls are confronted with headlines like “Quiz: Are you too easy?” and “It’s okay to go after your friend’s boyfriend!” reinforces that strong, caring role models are more important than ever. The campaign also uses radio ads depicting various ‘celebrity role models’ in action to demonstrate the need for more positive role models for girls. Girls today need more positive role models – and with a current waitlist of over 150 girls, it is our hope that this campaign will inspire more women to volunteer with Big Sisters!

As for Corinne, well, she DID find a positive role model – she found her Big Sister Eva through our program. Today, Corinne is a confident 22 year old who has a healthy relationship with her mom and is studying at BCIT – and she credits her Big Sister Eva with much of her success!

Written by Lisa Cloutier, Big Sisters staff member since 2002.

You can view the ‘Girls need more positive role models’ campaign and hear the radio public service announcements at www.bigsisters.bc.ca/en/Home/Volunteering/VolunteerRecruitment.aspx.

2010-04-27
Pleasures from Simple Pastimes
I find that as I get older I forget many things, but there are memories that stay hidden in my brain, re-appearing when tweaked by something completely unrelated. I’ll be reading something tedious, difficult to get through, my mind wanders off . . . and there it is—Charlotte’s Web. This is a book I read only as an adult, and then only because my Little Sister Tanya and I were paired up by Big Sisters when she was a nine-year-old. Early on I discovered that Tanya hated reading. She couldn’t understand why I'd read a newspaper rather than watch the news on TV. And when she found out that newspapers cost money, while TV was free, she was totally befuddled!

I racked my brain. How could I show her what a pleasure it is to read, how it opens up whole new worlds? My best friend, who had a daughter the same age as Tanya, suggested Charlotte's Web. Tanya rolled her eyes and said that reading was not for girls. So we compromised: I'd read aloud to her three pages and she'd read aloud one page for me; then we'd go to "check the quality" of the ice cream at the Dairy Queen down the street. Although the number of pages read increased, it took a lot of ice creams and pretend voices for the various characters before the story started to tickle Tanya’s interest. I still remember being on a long drive when Tanya suggested that we read the book; she volunteered to read as I drove. She wanted to know how the story ended and read aloud the last 30 pages. Her voice rose and became emotional and tears started flowing when Charlotte died. By this time we were at the side of the road, talking about the good and the sad parts of the book.

Tanya is now over 20 years old, we still keep in touch. And she is reading . . . and reading; the books tend to be romance novels now rather than fables. And she still remembers Charlotte’s Web – we were driving past Templeton street when Tanya thoughtfully mused: “So, Templeton, do you think it was named for the rat in Charlotte’s Web?”

Catherine Aczel Boivie and Tanya were matched as Big and Little Sister from 1996-2007.

2010-04-20
National Volunteer Week Reflections & Appreciation
With this week being National Volunteer Week, I’ve taken some time to reflect back on my experiences with volunteers and as a volunteer. I’ve volunteered doing everything from stuffing envelopes at an environmental organization to working with children and women fleeing domestic violence at a transition house. I’ve worked with volunteers at a community centre, summer camp, youth detox centre, shelter, mental health hospital and, of course, now at Big Sisters.

Big Sisters. Where do I even begin to talk about you – the volunteers of Big Sisters? Over my 4+ years working here, I’ve come across hundreds of you and you wouldn’t believe the things you do! From mentoring, supporting, tutoring and being friends and champions to our Little Sisters, to putting up posters, hosting volunteer fair booths, planning fundraising events, driving people around in golf carts, organizing workshops for our mentors, planting tulips in our backyard, planning match activities, governing our organization, providing us with invaluable expertise, managing 50 Big & Little Sisters in the wilderness at camp, soliciting sponsors for us – the list goes on! We truly could not function without you. And you know what the best thing is? Many of you tell US how you couldn’t imagine your lives without Big Sisters! Well, the feeling is mutual. You’ve become a part of our family, and we’ve become a part of yours. And never have I been so inspired by a group of volunteers like the ones we have at Big Sisters.

I think back to the many of you whom I’ve worked so closely with over the years, and the volunteers who’ve come and gone. Each of you have touched me in a way that I know guarantees that Big Sisters and its volunteers will always have a place in my heart. Our volunteers will always inspire me to believe that – individually and as a group – we can create life change. Whatever it is you do as a volunteer for Big Sisters – whether it is stuffing envelopes or working with a child – I hope you know that you make a significant contribution and you are positively impacting the lives of hundreds of girls every year. So, in the spirit of National Volunteer Week, I’d like to thank each you for what you’ve done for Big Sisters…and what you’ve done for me.

Written by Jordana Zbarsky, Big Sisters employee since 2006

2010-04-13
'Notes' from a Study Buddy
I’ve had the privilege of meeting weekly with Diamond as a Study Buddy for over a year now. I can honestly say it’s one of the most rewarding commitments I’ve ever undertaken. Just a couple of months ago, as we were finishing up some math homework(!) I told Diamond that our time together was almost up for the night. She looked a little crestfallen. Surprised, I asked her if she wanted to do more. She said “Yes, of course. I like spending time with you.” Honestly, we were just doing multiplication and long division. Truth is, I enjoy spending time with her, just as much as she appears to with me. Her boundless enthusiasm for life, her irrepressible youthful attitude, and her wonderful sense of humour make her a joy to spend time with…even if it is dedicated to such “boring” stuff as math and reading. I’d recommend becoming a Study Buddy to anyone. You may not get as lucky as I did (there can only be one “best kid in the world” after all!) but I believe you’ll find you get just as much, if not more, out of the time as you put into it.

Rachel Moffat, Study Buddy tutor since 2008

2010-04-06
Serendipity
When my mother first approached me about having a Big Sister I was twelve years old. My first thought was that it would be disrespectful to my mom and that I was too "mature" and didn’t need extra attention. I agreed to do it anyway. As it turns out, it was the best decision of my life. My Big Sister Joyanne is a vivacious woman who has a great zest for life. The mentorship that she provided me did not end after one year of commitment, but has continued for 27 years. We have done many things together like travelling, going to restaurants and plays, and nature walks, but most important were the talks, support and friendship Joyanne gave me. When my mom died in 1991, Joyanne was right there even though she was due with her second daughter any day. Her kindness and positive words were, and still are, invaluable to me. She is so thoughtful and curious about what’s going on in my life. I appreciate her friendship and consider her one of the chief role models in my life. It was not luck, or design, it was meant to happen the way that it did – it was serendipity.

2010-03-30
One Hour Makes a BIG Difference
Emily and I have been matched together in the Study Buddy program for about a year and a half. Each week I drive across town to the library near her house and we spend an hour working on her schoolwork.

The first time we met together we were both shy and a little unsure of ourselves. We talked about her favorite subjects, her challenges in school and set some goals for her to work towards in improving her English skills. I will never forget at the end of this session, as we were saying good-bye, she hugged me and said “I love you…. so, so much”. I was surprised but also very happy that our first session turned out to be such a hit!

Since then I have looked forward to each of our sessions and we have become good friends. Not only have I seen her grades and confidence improve, I’ve learned a lot about her life, seen her blossom into Canadian life and learned that she has a great sense of humor. We’ve shared a lot of laughs, especially at the end of our sessions when she teaches me a phrase in Mandarin and I attempt to pronounce it.

Many times I’ve wished I could be more than just her Study Buddy, that I could have taken her to an Olympic event or to see Avatar. But the time we’ve spent has been really rewarding, watching her progress and seeing her grades improve in subjects we’ve worked hard on.

And we owe a great thanks to Ivy, our caseworker, who has provided much support and insight. There have been times when I’ve felt discouraged, frustrated if I couldn’t explain certain grammatical rules or felt like I was letting Emily down. But Ivy has provided encouraging words and made me understand even more that I don’t need to have all the answers. I just need to be there with Emily, to listen, to encourage, to help her set goals, and to congratulate her on all of her successes. Thank you, Ivy, and thank you, Emily, for all your hard work!

Written by Penny McCleery, Study Buddy tutor since 2007

2010-03-23
Experience of a Little Sister
Big Sisters of BC Lower Mainland has had a profound impact on my life – not only as a Little Sister, but also as a maturing adult. The support of this organization and the friendship of my Big Sister Eva have meant the world to me. Without Big Sisters and my Big Sister, I can tell you that I would not be where I am today. I would not have had the drive to enroll in university, I would not be able to say that I now have a healthy and loving relationship with my mum, and I would not have developed confidence in myself to push through life’s daily struggles.

As a young girl growing up, I felt that I could not open up to the one real role model in my life, which was my mother. I had no relationship with my father and no siblings to confide in. Who do you talk to when you don’t have an adult you can trust? You talk to your friends, who may not be the best influence or, even worse, you talk to no one! My mum was a single parent who worked hard to pay for all the things that I apparently “needed” in life, as a teen. However, I never acknowledged her helpfulness, instead I was a typical teenager who thought the world revolved around me. Additionally, all of the things that made up positive experiences in my life were often things that I chose to ignore. My mum knew she couldn’t be everything to me and she was concerned that I might start to head down the wrong path. As a result, my mum thought it would be an excellent idea for me to have a Big Sister – someone I could talk to, someone I could rely on to be there, someone I could look up to, and someone we could both trust to be a positive influence on my life.

This has been the best decision my mum has ever made!

Having a Big Sister mentor has made a world of difference in my life. Through the relationship I have built with my Big Sister Eva, I have developed a sense of self worth, self confidence, motivation and a desire to succeed in life. Eva has had an immense impact on my life. With her help and encouragement and the opportunities offered to me through Big Sisters, I received a CIBC Youthvision Scholarship which paid for my tuition at university. I also received the Maxine Sevack Scholarship, which helped pay for my books for one semester.

I have no way of knowing what would have happened in my life if I hadn’t had a Big Sister to be my safety net – but I can assure you that I would not have the self-esteem and positive direction for my life that I do today!

Written by Corinne Grierson, Little Sister since 2003

2010-03-16
Why I Love Being a Go Girls Mentor
I was initially interested in becoming a mentor in the Go Girls! Healthy Bodies, Healthy Minds program because I firmly believe in the value of healthy eating and an active lifestyle. As an athletic young adult who shied away from organized sports as a child and teen, the idea of encouraging girls to become active in their own way was exciting to me.

Over the course of my two terms as a Go Girls mentor however, I have come to appreciate some other, more understated, aspects of this program. Although I continue to love the co-operative games and getting active with the group, I’ve surprised myself by looking forward to our discussions most of all! Together we talk about such topics as the importance of balance in life, how to deal with stressful situations and how to stay mentally and physically healthy during the difficult transition to high school. One of the most important ways that we, as mentors, broach the topics that are most relevant to the girls is through the Go Girls Question Box. At the end of every session, each girl is invited to write down an anonymous question or comment for us to discuss together at the beginning of the following session. This is a perfect way for the girls to get answers to the questions that concern them most – questions that they may not feel comfortable asking parents or teachers. In the past, inquires have ranged from: “How do I get my parents to treat me like an adult?” to, “Am I supposed to like boys?” Some questions are serious, some are silly, and some are downright scary. To address them, my co-mentor and I may use stories from our own middle-school years to help illustrate a point, or we may find ourselves directing the girls to their local health resources, but more often than not, the girls discuss amongst themselves and come up with their own solutions to the problem at hand. In those situations, I am reminded of how smart they all are, and that I too, benefit from our time together!

Written by Thea Gilks, Go Girls mentor since September 2009